3/28/2016 Daily Writing Prompts
Dear Past Me,
I would like to tell you that you made a lot of mistakes in your life but for the most part of your early life, you did well with what you were dealt and as a result of some of your decisions.
Number one, even though he turned out not to be the “Love of my Life,” we did create a beautiful daughter who has grown into a beautiful, loving and caring woman and a wonderful mother to her two children. That is one thing I would never change about my life; having my daughter.
I wish I had the self-esteem and confidence in my young life to realize that I was a person of value and that I did not have to go “along with the pack” to be accepted. I did realize that I was going to teach her the things I didn’t learn. My parents were good people and did teach me right from wrong but because of my birth defects, I don’t think they really knew how to deal with it.
I did instill good and honest values in my daughter and she has made, from what I can see very good decisions in her life, although I’m sure she has some of her own regrets; we all do.
Because the “Fairy Tale Life” did not happen as I dreamed it would have, I wasted many years of my life, too scared to try again. I didn’t want to feel that kind of pain again. Spending the better part of 30 years alone, other than my daughter, I started to lose those around me through death and it made me realize I didn’t want to live the rest of my life alone.
I did meet the “Love of My Life” in 2003 and lost him shortly after that in 2008. He showed me in those short five years how good a life can be with loving the right person. I’m not sure that he even realized how much he gave to me in terms of building my self-esteem and confidence and those things I learned from him has helped to carry me through the rough times without him.
They say things happen for a reason, while I still don’t understand why he was taken away so soon, I do know that we were sent to each other for a reason. We both had a caring and passionate love for each other. I believe I was there to show him that he was loved by me with all my heart and that he did not have to leave this world alone; I was with him to the end of his life.
At the end of life, our questions are simple: Did I live fully? Did I Love well? ~Jack Kornfield Click To Tweet
I “Know” he was sent to me to show that I deserved to be loved by someone who looked out for me and loved me and to show me that “Fairy Tales” can sometimes come true, just not always in the way the storybooks tell us.
I don’t know if I will ever marry again. I may or may not but I can tell you that even had I known from the beginning I would lose him so soon, I still would have done it all over again to know him and experience the beautiful and wonderful feeling of love that we had.
(c) Copyright – Monna Ellithorpe 2016
This is my piece written for the Daily Writing Prompt 3/28/2016